Find Joy in Your Journey
Find joy in your journey.
For those of you that may not know, I am of mixed race — my biological mother is White & my biological father, Black. To add another layer, I was also adopted & am the only person of color in my family.
It’s taken me a while to understand my identity in its many complexities, and honestly this understanding evolves daily — but, today I identify as a Black biracial, transracial adoptee.
I feel extremely blessed to have an adoptive mother who was very intentional about surrounding me with people who looked like me at an early age. My first nanny was a Black female. My pediatrician, a Black female. These things mattered — and ultimately, have played a huge role in who I am becoming.
Even though my mom worked hard to show me my value, it wasn’t long until the cruelty of the world began to chip that away.
In middle school, I was often told I was “the whitest Black girl” people had ever met, as if that was a compliment — but, I often made light of it in order to fit in. When I had crushes on boys in my class, I was told they couldn’t date me because I was Black. In high school, rumors spread that I only got accepted to my top college due to affirmative action, although I had over a 4.5 GPA.
Can you say teenage identity crisis?
Throughout those years, I tried everything to be accepted. I chemically straightened my hair and got side bangs because that’s what was “on trend,” completely damaging my beautiful, ringlet curls. I tried to squeeze into low-waisted Hollister jeans because that’s what everyone was wearing, although I’ve had curves since I was in 6th grade. I worked so hard to be something I wasn’t for the approval of others... but the reality was, nothing I did would ever be enough in certain people’s eyes. Hate and discrimination are not things that go away with straight side bangs or on-trend blue jeans. I was still Black & it was often seen as an issue, even when other’s actions weren’t blatantly racist or discriminatory.
I grew to understand that I only needed to be enough for myself… and that those who truly love me see me as more than enough, and always have.
It brings me the biggest smile when I step into my dental school and have the opportunity to work alongside faculty, staff & colleagues that look like me. I’m extremely grateful that today I can turn on the TV & see a woman who looks like me serving as our Vice President. It warms my heart that I can turn on the radio & hear song lyrics that say “brown skin girl, your skin just like pearls, the best thing in the world...” I get chills when I walk through store aisles & see dolls in a variety of colors being depicted as professionals, mothers, models & more.
These are things that I wish I had as a little girl and, ultimately, give me hope for the future and for my future children.
We have such a long way to go, but I’m appreciative of where we’ve come this far and for the fearless pioneers that have and continue to elevate the world in which we live.
There’s been a lot of sadness & confusion along my personal journey of understanding my ever-evolving identity, but it’s made the joy I feel today... the pride I feel today, THAT much better.
